


Aphenphosmphobia

by coockie8



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Abuse, Aphenphosmphobia, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotionally Repressed, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Panic Attacks, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:42:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coockie8/pseuds/coockie8
Summary: Takaya wakes up, bound, in someone else's home after getting drugged by a pushy client. Little does he know he's more familiar with his captor than he realizes.
Relationships: Ikutsuki Shuji/Sakaki Takaya
Kudos: 6





	Aphenphosmphobia

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was requested by a friend of mine. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you guys like it.
> 
> There's rape in this fic.

It was dark, and his shoulders ached. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out how he'd gotten to this point. Perhaps his hubris had gotten the best of him, or maybe the dizzying pounding in his head was a clue.

A door creaked as it opened and Takaya flinched slightly, quickly turning his head in the direction of the sound, tugging against the rough rope that kept his arms taut above his head. A hand ran up his back and he arched in an attempt to avoid the touch, which earned him a little chuckle from his captor

"My my, aren't we jumpy?" A painfully familiar voice taunted.

Takaya swallowed thickly, mouth incredibly dry

"W-What do you want?" He just barely managed to croak out.

The hand ran up his stomach this time, and he jerked away again, snarling softly under his breath

"Don't touch me!" He snapped.

"Ah, yes. It was noted in your file that you suffer from aphenphosmphobia," The man cooed.

Takaya gritted his teeth

"You must work for the Kirijo group, if you have access to a file on  _ me _ ," He slurred, head still spinning.

A hand firmly gripped his hip and Takaya shuddered, arching his body in a failed attempt to escape the unwanted advance.

"Darn, and here I was, trying so hard to be subtle," He purred next to Takaya's ear before smelling his hair "Still so sweet."

Takaya tensed considerably at that. It wasn't that he was being sniffed, that didn't actually particularly bother him, it was the word 'still'. As though his captor knew him, and had gotten close enough to smell him. And Takaya knew that voice.

"It's in your best interest not to make me nervous," He warned, tugging on his binds "My control is weak and He tends to respond unfavorably to my stress."

The hand left Takaya's body and he quickly relaxed before the blindfold was removed. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes and looked his captor over

"Shuji Ikutsuki," He huffed "I'd hoped you were dead."

Shuji put a hand over his chest in mock offense

"Now, now. That's not very polite," He scolded, gently patting Takaya's cheek.

Takaya snapped at his fingers and Shuji immediately yanked his hand away and scowled

"Right. Forgot you're a biter," He muttered.

He swiftly moved to stand behind Takaya and gently gripped his slim hips

"You're so thin now," He commented, running his fingers up the bumps of Takaya's spine.

Takaya shuddered and arched his back to escape, hating the feeling of skin on skin.

"Get your hands off me!" He snapped.

Shuji wrapped his arms around Takaya's slender waist and peppered kisses along his shoulder blades. Takaya pulled on his binds and squirmed near desperately 

"Stop touching me!"

Shuji tightened his grip to halt Takaya's squirming

"Think… Of… This as… Exposure… Therapy!" He laughed between grunts from the effort of holding Takaya still.

Takaya didn't have much physical fight left in him, it was the reason he used a gun. The long-term use of the suppressants had taken a massive toll on his body. He panted heavily after slumping from exhaustion. Shuji patted his head in a condescending manner before continuing to litter his back with little kisses.

Takaya cringed and tensed under Shuji's touch

"Stop…" He breathed.

Shuji's fingers dipped into the waist band of Takaya's jeans, alighting a fire within him again. Takaya jerked his head back, headbutting Shuji square in the nose, which caused him to shout in pain and stumble back.

"I said stop," Takaya grumbled.

Shuji cursed and wiped the blood that was dripping from his nose

"You little bitch!" He snapped, tangling a hand in Takaya's hair and yanking his head back, pulling a strangled whimper from him "Oh, I'm gonna make you fucking  _ squeal _ !"

Takaya swallowed thickly, the arch Shuji was forcing his body into made it difficult to breath

"I… Do… Not… Squeal!" He just barely managed to get out between gasps for breath.

With one hand still tangled in Takaya's hair, Shuji reached around to yank Takaya's belt open before pulling it off

"We'll see about that," He hissed "You squirmy little fuck. Why can't you just stay  _ still _ ?"

Takaya gritted his teeth again, his head still throbbing. How did he get here? The night before was just a blur.

A client had demanded to speak to Jin in person, and since Takaya would sooner die then let Jin meet with a client on his own, he'd tagged along. They didn't usually meet with clients, but for the amount this guy was willing to pay for a face-to-face meeting alone, Jin figured it was worth it. Jin was the face of their little website, Jin was the one the clients dealt with, Takaya just carried out the hit. He had the experience after all.

They'd met him in the back at club Escapade, not Takaya's usual choice of venue. Too many people. Too loud. He didn't drink. Not usually anyway, but the client had insisted. It was a strange, casual meeting. The client, an older man in his 50's with way too much cash to burn, wanted to 'get to know who he was dealing with' before hiring them. Something about wanting to get back at a sugar baby, that quickly turned to trying to convince Jin to become his new sugar baby.

Jin, being only nineteen, wasn't old enough to drink. So the clients attention shifted to Takaya upon learning that he was twenty-one and fair game to guzzle as much booze as he pleased. After a fair amount of pushing, Takaya had finally agreed to a drink, albeit begrudgingly. The client had left to get a drink, brought it back,  _ watched  _ as Takaya drank it and… Most after that was a blur.

Ah. Roofies.

"Y-You set us up…" He stammered breathlessly. 

Shuji cocked an eyebrow before releasing Takaya's hair

"Unfortunately I didn't. After club Escapade you and Shirato went your separate ways. He went back to the pitiful ruins you lot call home, and you went to 'walk off' your 'dizzy spell'. Those are new, a symptom of the suppressants I'd imagine? Anyway, I followed you and you passed out near Port Island station, so I took you home," He explained "See? It was all just a happy accident."

Takaya scoffed

"Happy isn't how  _ I  _ would describe it…" He grumbled.

"Oh? I think it is, better me than that ancient pig you call a client," Shuji cooed.

Takaya pursed his lips together, still not how he would describe it. The client was a stranger, the possibilities were endless, so it was easier not to think about it, but Takaya knew what Shuji was capable of. The knowing put him on edge. It was always the knowing.

"At his size, he'd crush your brittle, little body," Shuji purred while leaning down to nip at Takaya's ribs to accentuate his point.

Takaya flinched away from the contact before hanging his head. It had been over twelve hours since he'd last taken his suppressants, and his mind was beginning to cloud over for a whole different reason. He figured he'd rather die than have to endure whatever Shuji intended to do, so he had no intention of saying anything. Who Hynos would attack was a bit of a dice roll. 

Shuji dropped Takaya's belt and got to work undoing his jeans, knelt in front of him, littering his tummy with kisses. Takaya tensed as Shuji slowly eased his jeans off

"You always did strike me as the commando type," Shuji purred as he kissed the top of Takaya's shaft.

Takaya gasped slightly and twisted his hips, kneeing Shuji in the shoulder, knocking him back

"Stop it!" He snapped "Stop touching me!"

His head was throbbing and he could feel Hypnos' chaotic rage looming over his shoulder. Shuji growled under his breath and stood, bringing his fist across Takaya's face

"Stop fighting!" He snapped.

Takaya's head spun from the combination of the hit and Hypnos' white noise, causing him to slump, held up only by the binds on his wrists. Shuji wrapped his arms around Takaya's waist to hold him up

"You're light as a feather, Taki-chan," He cooed "You gotta eat more."

The sheer, unadulterated  _ rage _ that sparked in Takaya at the nickname had him upright in seconds, sinking his teeth into Shuji's shoulder, piercing his thin button down and breaking the skin. Shuji desperately tried to jerk away, which only succeeded in making it worse. He slammed his fist into Takaya's head

"Let go, you savage!" He shrieked.

Takaya winced at every hit but refused to let up until he passed out or died. Whichever came first. Turned out it would be fainting.

He did know how long he was unconscious, but when he woke up his head was throbbing, and  _ something  _ sharp was poking into his arm. He glanced around the room before his eyes landed on Shuji, who was injecting him with something. He was sure if he didn't have a massive concussion, he would have freaked out.

"W-What are you doing?" He slurred.

"Suppressants," Shuji informed "Hypnos got a little… Aggressive… After you passed out."

Takaya just barely registered the burn marks on Shuji's side. Apparently he'd taken his shirt off at some point, likely due to it being burned by Hypnos' fierce Agidyne.

"He's the only one allowed to hurt me…" He mumbled.

Shuji cocked an eyebrow

"You talk about your persona as if it's a person you have a rocky relationship with. It's a creature that wants to kill you, nothing more," Shuji drawled.

"I wonder who's to blame for that?" Takaya grumbled.

Shuji chuckled softly as he finished up medicating Takaya

"Now, now.  _ I'm  _ not the one who ordered those experiments. If you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at Kouetsu Kirijo, for starting this whole mess in the first place, and Takeharu Kirijo for ordering the persona experiments that gave you your powers. I was just following the orders of my employer," He huffed.

Takaya followed Shuji with his eyes as he walked around the room

"I can't feel my arms," He commented absentmindedly.

Shuji approached him and gently felt up his arms

"You were always our most promising subject, you know," He cooed affectionately.

Takaya squirmed slightly

"Please… Stop touching me," He breathed.

Shuji carefully undid the binds and eased Takaya into his arms before carrying him to the bed

"You must be in pain," He soothed "I'll make you feel better."

As much as skin on skin contact made him nauseous and uneasy, no longer being suspended by his wrists was a welcome change, so he didn't squirm. A small whimper escaped as Shuji gently placed him on the bed

"Easy, I know you're in pain," He soothed.

Takaya blinked and sluggishly swatted him away

"Don't touch me…" He mumbled.

Shuji just rolled his eyes before pulling away to strip the rest of his clothes off

"In our interviews, I always found you to be quite… Otherworldly," He informed while making himself comfortable between Takaya's legs "You have your own little reality, and that's how you cope with the things you've been through."

He ran his hands up the insides of Takaya's thighs before kissing the tip of his nose

"I believe that is why you have aphenphosmphobia; touch breaks your little fantasy world," He purred "You have to face reality when hands roam your body."

Takaya swallowed thickly and sluggishly pushed on Shuji's chest

"I don't like to be touched because people are disgusting and I don't know where they've been," He huffed.

Shuji hummed softly and cocked an eyebrow; Takaya did have a bit of a point.

"Well, I promise you, I'm clean," He assured.

As clean as he could be, he'd gone and taken a shower after Takaya passed out. Mainly to clean the blood and ash off his body. He let his hair fall off his shoulders so Takaya could feel it was still damp, and Takaya actually relaxed somewhat.

"So you dislike filth?" Shuji asked softly, gently tickling Takaya with his hair.

Takaya shrugged

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's a large part of the issue," He muttered "But gentleness can turn to violence so quickly…"

Shuji cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. Of all the children brought in for the persona experiments, Takaya was the only one they didn't have a reliable history for. The most anyone had ever gotten out of him was that at a young age he was 'taken and molded'. 

"Were you abused as a child?" He wondered.

Takaya closed his eyes, feeling horribly exhausted and dizzy

"That would depend, I suppose, on your definition of abuse," He mumbled.

Shuji hummed, Takaya was so strange and full of intrigue. He carefully wrapped a hand around Takaya's shaft and gave it a firm squeeze

"Let's make you feel good, huh?" He cooed.

Takaya crinkled his nose, but he was too dizzy to put up much of a fight. Shuji slowly and firmly stroked Takaya to full hardness, cooing sweet nothings at him the whole time. Takaya bit his lip to stifle his little whimpers, he wasn't overly interested in sex, so he was a pretty sensitive and inexperienced. 

Not that he considered this sex. No, Shuji was just like every other entitled, Kirijo-employed scientist who'd fondled him in the lab. They'd always said it was 'necessary' and 'just an experiment to test his self-control', but Takaya wasn't an idiot. How much abuse and discomfort he could endure had nothing to do with his ability to summon a persona.

"If your going to fuck me, would you kindly get it over with?" Takaya grumbled.

Shuji's ministrations halted and he was silent for a moment before letting out a chuckle

"Always so straight forward," He purred "But if you insist."

He grabbed the bottle of lube off the nightstand beside the bed and slicked up his fingers. He pressed one inside and groaned softly

"So tight. I don't think my cock will fit," He rasped, slowly pumping the finger in and out.

Takaya couldn't help but think back to the scientist in the lab who had tried forcing himself on Jin. The rage in Takaya's chest then had been unbearable and he'd stabbed the man's own pen into his throat thirty times. A part of Takaya wondered if that specific instance was when Jin had developed his hemophobia. In retrospect, Takaya had been quite violent. He didn't regret it, that man hadn't been Takaya's first kill and he hadn't been his last.

Takaya's eyes shot open and he gasped when Shuji pressed the second finger inside and they nudged his prostate. He knew about his anatomy, of course, he wasn't naïve, he just hadn't known it could feel so… Good. In the labs it had been uncomfortable at best and agonizing at worst. Then again, he'd also been around twelve at the time.

He bit his lip again to keep from crying out as Shuji rubbed his prostate with his fingers

"Seems like you're really liking this," Shuji purred "You keep clenching, and your cock is dripping."

The pleasure was masking the pain, and Takaya could feel energy trickling back into his exhausted body. His major issue now was the position, if he was going to be used like a sex object, then he didn't want to have to look at his aggressor. 

"Ikutsuki," He panted, forcing his voice to remain steady "Not like this…"

Shuji pressed a third finger inside

"You want to be on your stomach when I take you?" He asked softly "I'd take you on your knees, but you're probably too tired to hold yourself up."

Takaya just nodded, bending his knees and spreading his legs. He was too exhausted to fight, he just wanted this over with so he could go home and sleep. Shuji tugged his fingers free before helping Takaya roll over.

"Relax," He soothed before slowly pushing inside.

Takaya bit his lip and buried his face in the pillow, whining softly. Shuji tightly gripped Takaya's hips as he ground into him

"Fucking Christ!" He cursed "You're so hot inside."

Takaya was aware of that, and he found the play-by-play irritating. The suppressants made him feverish, it was why he wore so little. He lifted his head off the pillow slightly to breath, which, of course, was the exact moment Shuji decided to start thrusting, causing Takaya to let out a rather undignified squeak. Shuji smirked and tightened his grip on Takaya's hip while snaking a hand up to tangle in his hair and yank his head back

"I want to hear you moan," He hissed as he picked up the pace of his thrusting.

Takaya bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, muffling his whining. Everything was too much, and it was terrible. The throbbing in his head had finally began to subside and his thoughts were clearing. The prickles of pain in his scalp, the rough friction of the bed sheets against his shaft, Shuji's near-brutal pounding, and the horrible knowledge of being  _ touched _ . Strange hands on his skin. Lips, teeth, and tongue leaving disgusting wet marks along his back, making his skin crawl. He couldn't breathe.

"Too much," He whimpered, hating the tears welling up in his eyes, hating his vulnerable reaction.

He forced his heavy arms up and clawed at the pillow, pushing himself up a bit. Shuji laughed breathlessly 

"Coming alive?" He teased.

Takaya groaned softly, with Shuji pounding into him like that he couldn't get enough stability under his legs

"Stop," He snarled, wiping his tears away, only for them to be immediately replaced.

His heart was pounding, he couldn't catch his breath, and no matter what he did, he couldn't stop crying. Was this what a panic attack was? He didn't know, he wasn't sure if he'd ever had one. 

Shuji yanked Takaya up by the hips so he was on his knees, putting a hand on his back to keep him arched

"Christ, your shape," He purred "If you put on a few pounds you'd be fucking gorgeous."

He ran his thumb along the stretched rim of Takaya's hole and groaned

"I'm about to cum!" He warned.

Takaya glared at Shuji over his shoulder

"Do  _ not  _ cum inside me!" He hissed.

Shuji thrusted a few more times before pulling out and jerking to completion; cumming mostly on Takaya's back and ass, pressing back inside for the last little spurts. Takaya snarled under his breath and reached back to claw at Shuji's face, leaving a decent scratch down his cheek and succeeding at making him pull away.

A quick burst of energy was enough for Takaya to bolt off the bed and grab his gun of the desk, cocking it and pointing it square at Shuji, who immediately froze in his pursuit. Takaya panted heavily

"You're an idiot for not unloading it," He stated breathlessly before crinkling his nose slightly at the feeling of cum trickling down his thigh.

Shuji raised his hands slightly

"Okay, take it easy," He soothed "Maybe I got a little aggressive."

Takaya ignored his reasoning and grabbed his jeans. Pulling them on one handed while not really paying attention was difficult, but he managed. He grabbed his belt before backing out of the room, firing off a round at the wall right next to Shuji's head when he made a move to follow

"Next one won't miss. I'm being very generous in not killing you, keep that in mind," He snarled.

With that he closed the bedroom door and headed for the front exit, where his boots were. 

Takaya didn't run, but that didn't mean he stopped walking until he was at Port Island Station. Surprisingly to him, the only thing on his mind was the cum drying disgustingly on his back. He sat down on the bench outside the station and sighed softly as the Dark Hour hit. He looked up at the eerie, green-tinted sky and just stared up at it for a moment before a voice pulled him out of his daze and he immediately stood and whipped around; gun to the person's head.

Shinjiro raised his hands slightly in defense, but didn't seem overly affected by the threat

"Easy, Sakaki," He soothed.

His disinterested glare quickly turned to a look of concern

"You're all bruised, what the hell happened!?" He panicked, getting far closer than Takaya was comfortable with in order to check out his injuries.

Takaya stumbled back onto the bench, Shinjiro now practically in his lap. He relaxed slightly and just let Shinjiro tend to his wounds

"I'm fine, Aragaki," He assured softly.

Shinjiro either didn't hear or didn't listen as he dapped a rag against the little cuts that littered Takaya's face

"What happened?" He breathed "I don't think I've  _ ever  _ seen someone get the drop on  _ you _ . You're too paranoid."

Takaya lowered his gaze a bit

"We were meeting with a client, and he drugged me," He explained "I must have passed out on the street afterwards, and I was picked up by a man."

Shinjiro pulled away and sat down next to him

"Did you get a look at this guy?" He asked.

Takaya nodded, but that was all he offered in response. Shinjiro sighed softly and stuffed his rag back into his pocket

"Is he dealt with?" He asked softly. 

Takaya shook his head

"You wouldn't want me dealing with him. Besides, I couldn't bring myself to kill him…" He admitted with a shrug "I don't know why."

Shinjiro patted Takaya's knee. A quick little gesture over denim that was gone as quick as it came. He knew about Takaya's phobia, and often went out of his way to accommodate it. They sat together in silence for a while as Takaya steadily came down from his panicked state. Shinjiro didn't touch him, but his presence helped to calm Takaya's nerves. He knew Shinjiro wasn't the type to needlessly harm someone.

"You don't have to stay," He informed.

Shinjiro shrugged before popping a suppressant

"Aki's been on my ass about these ever since he found out. He doesn't get that I'd rather know when I'm gonna die than have it catch me by surprise when Castor inevitably decides he's had enough of me," He muttered "I don't want to be around him right now, and I don't have to worry about you giving me shit."

Takaya let a little smirk slip

"Well, I do understand what you're going through," He hummed.

Shinjiro sighed softly and tilted his head back

"I'm running low, by the way," He informed.

Takaya pulled his bottle out of his pocket and handed it to him

"Here. I have more at home," He said.

Shinjiro reluctantly took the bottle and shoved it into his coat pocket

"What do I owe you?" He asked.

Takaya shook his head

"Don't worry about it this time," He assured flatly "Just… Stay with me until the Dark Hour ends."

Shinjiro knew better than to comment on that. Takaya wasn't often open about his vulnerability, and if he was requesting company, whatever happened had to have been pretty bad, so Shinjiro would stay, but he would have for free.

**Author's Note:**

> The friend who requested the fic and I were chatting one day and came up with the headcanon that Takaya has aphenphosmphobia (The fear of being touched). Nothing in particular sparked it, we just thought it would kinda make sense considering the things he probably had to go through at the hands of the Kirijo group. We just got to talking about traumas and trauma responses, and since it's canon that Chidori hates hospitals, we decided it wasn't much of a stretch that she could have a minor case of Nosocomephobia (Fear of hospitals), which lead to us talking about the other two members of Strega who could also have developed phobias in response to the trauma of human experimentation.
> 
> It is implied in the fic at one point though that Takaya suffered from this phobia before the Kirijo group even got their hands on him, but that's just hearkening to some specific head canons I have for his backstory, but you can feel free to interpret that part however you see fit. Either as it being a problem he had before Kirijo, or one that developed as a result of being kidnap by a major company. Up to you.
> 
> I've always wanted to write fics exploring phobias, since I suffer from scoptophobia (The fear of being stared at), and my sisters also suffer from phobias, Trypanophobia (the fear of needles), and emetophobia (the fear of vomit) respectively, so dealing with phobias is a very prominent thing in my family.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if I get it across very well, but Takaya's muted reaction to what Ikutsuki does to him in this fic is partly because he's been drugged, and beat up, so he's not thinking clearly, but also because he has a very nihilistic point of view, and is fully aware of the fact he can't really fight Ikustuki off in the state he's in, so he's sort of just taking it so it will be over quicker. He's not a doormat or anything, he's just mad pessimistic. He also strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't really actively... Process their trauma. Things sort of just happen to him, and then he crumples that experience into a little ball and shoves that ball deep, deep, deep down inside him and never addresses it. Sort of like the human incarnation of 
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/pX9x7SY)
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna stop rambling now. Hope you liked the fic, and if you did, please comment. I love hearing from you guys <3


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